Am I Enough?
Am I enough for these children?
Am I patient enough?
Am I loving enough?
Am I healthy enough?
Am I strong enough?
Am I Enough?
The list goes on. And it spirals out of control. It’s the quiet, unkind voice that follows behind each of our best efforts.
I realize I want perfection for my children. I look at them and I seeperfection. I see sweet, innocent souls who haven’t had the world project its ugly onto them. I see purity. I see genuine emotions. I see endless possibilities.
But when I look in the mirror, I see exhaustion. I see irritability and impatience. I see laziness and anxiety and worry. I see a world of hurts and mistakes that have imprinted on me. I see imperfection. I see not enough for my children.
But the mirror is not where we should be looking. Because no matter how clean our home is, no matter how healthy our cooking is or how patient and discerning our parenting is, we will never be perfect. We can be so many wonderful things - we can be tenacious, compassionate, determined, honest, God-honoring women - but we will never be perfect. We will always have more to learn, more to grow, more to give. The only perfect in this world is God. His son was the only perfect to walk this earth.
And yet, I still yearn for more for my children. I am still determined to be the best version of myself for them - I still want the best, I still want perfection, for them. The weight of that is heavy, for all of us mamas. The weight of what is needed to provide for our children through our finances, our cooking, our health habits, our attitude…somedays, feeling inadequate to these great needs can crush you. They can turn you inward, to your greatest fears and insecurities and say, I am not enough.
But Jesus said to us in 2 Corinthians 12:9, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness”.
And just like that, a weight is lifted.
The mirror is not where we should be looking for perfection. We should be looking up, looking up to God.
For His grace is sufficient. It is sufficient for you, for me, for each of our children. Of course we want to give perfection to our children. But our mistake is looking inward for that perfection. The only way we can give perfection to our children is by giving them God, by giving them his grace and love and hope. His power is made perfect through our weakness.
We can only give this perfection to our children if we accept it first. We must stop looking in the mirror for perfection, we must stop listening to the lie that we are not enough. Jesus came so that you may have life and have it to the fullest. Through His grace and love we have hope. Christ has transformed what we perceive as weaknesses into avenues for God to work through us and in us for the good of our children, our husbands, our friends and our community. We need to believe this - we need to LIVE this - in order to allow His grace and power to work in our lives.
We need to live like God loves us, right where we’re at. Because He does. He loves you while you feel impatient and have to walk away for a minute from your crying baby. He loves you, with your unwashed hair and spit up down your shirt. He loves you, as you sit in your messy living room. And He has a plan to prosper you, to use you to uplift other people around you. Believe that. Live it. Look up to God, receive His grace and perfection. And sure enough, your children will get the best that you so wish for them, too.